Soo...

First we had this. Then we had this. And now we have this.

I seriously... don't even know anymore. It's like, I TRY to keep up with the news, take everything with a grain of salt, and attempt to weed the more reliable info from the less reliable. But it's all still so damn confusing!

( Some optimism. Some pessimism. Mostly just realism. )

Title: Dreaming Back to This
Rating: currently PG-13ish, will eventually hit the R range
Genre: AU, sci-fi, suspense
Chapter: Divided Together (23/?)
Pairings: YooMin, HoSuJae
Summary: Changmin's running from a past he can't forget. Yoochun's running towards a future he can't see. Two people, seemingly on separate paths, collide. What starts in dreams…
Notes: I'd like to apologize to Changmin, because even though he'll never hear about this fic and will never actually be hurt from it, I still feel like an evil, horrible person. T_T
Previous: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 23

( So Jaejoong simply keeps his hand running through Changmin's hair, hoping it keeps Changmin from falling off the edge into panic. )

Just saw the movie Paranormal Activity, and I am THOROUGHLY creeped out now. The beginning was actually pretty slow, kinda dragged a little bit, and large chunks of it were shot in that hand-held camera style, very Blair Witch-like, which was making me pretty nauseous. So I started thinking that it was just gonna be a big waste of my time and money. But then it actually started getting into the real paranormal stuff with less of the shaky camera work, and it started getting reallllllllly good. When the girl got dragged down the hall by NOTHING, and then there was a giant red BITE MARK on her back... Uh-uh. And then the ending. Oooohmygosh, that ending. Thoroughly creeped. I can imagine myself jumping at every little footstep or creak of the house over my head (since my bedroom's in the basement) for the next... while, at least. That movie definitely got to me. *shudders*

So, yeah, now I'm not gonna go to bed for a while. If I go to bed at all. May just sleep on my couch in front of the TV with all the lights on. *laughs*

Anywayz, in other news:

Yes, the Possession/Falling smut is being worked on. It's at... about 1700 words right now, but it's going slowly. For whatever reason, I seem to find smut muuuuuuch more difficult to write than pain and angst and death and what-not. *shrugs* So, just be patient with me. I'll get it finished eventually. ^^

And to all my DBtT readers, don't worry! I haven't forgotten that I still have that one hanging. The thing is, I have the whole general story arc alllll figured out, but I DON'T have it mapped out chapter-by-chapter. So I've pretty much been winging it when it comes down to specifics. Right now, I'm just in the process of figuring out exactly what I want the next chapter to be/do. I apologize that it's taking so long, but I don't want to just throw something out there then realize it takes me away from where the story's supposed to go. So, again, patience. XDD

We had mine and my dad's birthday party with the family. (My dad's b-day is today. Well, yesterday, technically. The 16th, whatever. Mine's on Sunday, the 18th. ^^) We had a pretty good crowd: Me and my parents, of course, plus my older niece Justus, my oldest brother and his little girl, my younger brother and his wife, my maternal grandmother, and my paternal grandparents with my aunt Donna. (She has Down's Syndrome and so still lives with my grandparents.) It was nice, had dinner then played some cards then a game of Balderdash. ^^ Then, when I got back from the movie, my grandparents had left my b-day card along with my money. XDDD So, now I have money to buy the Secret Code concert, though I think I'm gonna wait 'til the Korean/Hong Kong version is released. No sense paying all that extra money...

Hmm... Okay, that's all I can think of to ramble about now. Gonna go distract myself in other ways now. *laughs*

Edit: TSC Hong Kong version was released on the 15th. It has now been ordered and will be delivered in "6-14 business days". ^______^ Now I'm deciding if I should invest the rest of my b-day money towards saving for the Please Be Mine photobook, or if I should go ahead and buy the concert dvd's I'm currently missing (FiTB and T - well, I have a COPY of FiTB, but I'd like to replace it with the actual bought dvd...). Will just have to think on that for a little while... ^__^

You can learn a lot about someone by the music they listen to. So here is the game! Hit shuffle on your ipod or mp3 player and write down the first 25 songs. No cheating or skipping songs that are shameful. That is the fun! Then tag your friends.

tagged by narcolept_smurf

My iTunes is... pretty eclectic, so we'll just see how this goes... XDD

1. Without Love - Hairspray movie soundtrack
2. Unchained Melody - Leann Rimes
3. Take a Chance on Me - Mamma Mia original cast soundtrack
4. One More Angel in Heaven - Joseph and the Amazing Techincolor Dreamcoat soundtrack
5. The Dementors Converge - Harry Potter PoA soundtrack
6. One of Us - A*Teens
7. Follow Me - Wild Orchid
8. Closing Ment - DBSK Mirotic tour album
9. Runaway Run - Hanson
10. You're My Miracle (Japanese vers.) - DBSK
11. Satellites - Sugar Ray
12. Incomplete Melody - Wang Leehom
13. Shakespeare ni Sasagu - Miyavi
14. San Francisco - Vanessa Carlton
15. Don't - Rachael Yamagata
16. Lovely Day - Super Junior
17. You Got It - *N Sync
18. Dentro un Alto Si - Il Divo
19. 사랑을 할 땐 - Son HoYoung
20. Missing My Baby - Selena
21. I Love You - SG Wannabe
22. That's the Way - Jennifer Lopez
23. Something Kinda Funny - Spice Girls
24. Love Me Tender - Wang Leehom
25. Men in Black - Will Smith

---

Hmm... So, whaddaya think? Strange enough for you? XDDD Kinda surprised there's no Backstreet Boys or Vanessa Mae, since I have so much of their music, after DBSK and Leehom. But, ah well. Still a pretty good variety there. ^^

Tagging... whoever's bored enough to do this. XDDD

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
dreaming_col goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as vampire.
briochick gives you 14 red-orange strawberry-flavoured pieces of taffy.
chloe1910 gives you 13 mottled green strawberry-flavoured gumdrops.
cybermuffin18 tricks you! You lose 17 pieces of candy!
emda gives you 19 teal mint-flavoured gummy worms.
feyla tricks you! You lose 5 pieces of candy!
kirch_it_up tricks you! You lose 15 pieces of candy!
kittysalias gives you 8 dark blue tropical-flavoured gummy worms.
kratynoi gives you 7 softly glowing apple-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
littleanomaly gives you 14 milky white spearmint-flavoured pieces of taffy.
narcolept_smurf gives you 7 dark blue chocolate-flavoured wafers.
dreaming_col ends up with 45 pieces of candy.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

So, overall, Rose and Morgan and Angel are big ol' meanie-heads. *laughs* But, despite them, I guess I still did pretty well. XDDD

Edit: Poll is now closed! Thank you to everyone who voted and gave their input. Official results? *looks down* Hm, seems like I'm gonna have to do both of them... -_- Seriously, guys, if these just royally suck, you aren't allowed to blame me, 'kay? XDD And, since #1 got the most other votes, I'm gonna start with that one. Makes sense, yes? ^_^ Anyway, it is actually already started. Got... probably a couple hundred words down the other day. So I am definitely hoping to have that one posted within a week or so. ^^

So, I've realized lately that I reallllllly miss this 'verse. Like, reallyreally. And because of that, I have come to a decision.

I had a loooot of people ask me for a special smut bonus at the end there, and I kinda... cheated my way out of it. Just a little. XD But I have now resolved to try again. I'm not promising good smut, mind you. It will, after all, be only my second attempt at... the full act. But I do promise to try. This is where I need your help, though. You see, I've got two different ideas and can't decide which one to go with. So I'll present you guys with these two ideas and take a vote to decide which one I'm gonna work on. And now that you know the situation, here are your options:

#1: Basically a sequel to this bonus. The group has two consecutive days completely free. Jae and Min take the opportunity to kick the others out of the apartment for some "quality" time. This scenario will be Min's first time, Min as bottom. Probably much slower-paced, romantic and sweet.

#2: A quick, stolen moment. The boys have a little bit of wait after rehearsal, before a scheduled interview. Jae and Min sneak away to steal some private time. Will be much quicker, less sappy/romantic. Jae as bottom in this one.

Poll #1466104 Possession/Falling Bonus Options
This poll is closed.
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 10

So, which one would you rather read?

So I just watched the JaeChun 'Colors' offshot movie. And, towards the end, when they're painting the wall, I had to laugh. Because, um, hi. Chunnie painting a pair of lips with the words "Kiss me" above it? *points at icon* Did I not call that?! XDDD

I'm a horrible person. I know I've said it before in this journal, and it's just as true now as it was then. If not even moreso.

I've been lying to everybody - and I mean EVERYBODY - for the last month and a half. And now I've screwed myself over. People are probably going to hate me when the truth comes out. It will come out, too, because I can't DO this anymore. It won't come out here, though. Those people who are directly involved will be talked to one-on-one, because it's only fair to them.

But... I'm sitting here, just crying. And I had to write this out, because it needs to be let out somewhere right now, or I'm afraid I'll do something... drastic. Hell, maybe I still will. I don't know right now. Guess it depends on people's reactions after they hear the truth and how I feel after finally telling them.

I'm just... I'm pretty much a miserable failure. I admit it. Most of you probably will never know why I'm saying this, but I promise you it's true. And to those who are directly involved, I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so, so, SO sorry. I really have no one else to blame but myself. And I do absolutely blame myself. Everyone just gave me so many chances, and I... blew them all. Because, I guess, that's just the kind of person I am.

And I'm so terrified right now. Because I love my friends. I really do, with my whole heart. I hope they know that, whether I say it to them or not. And I hope they remember that after I tell them the truth. My friends... They're the types to hold high expectations, for themselves and for those around them. And I just... I fall short. Very, VERY short. And I lied to them for the simple fact that I KNOW I fall short, and I was absolutely terrified to lose them if they found out. Now they will find out, because I CAN'T hide it anymore. And I just can't imagine what I'll do if I lose any of them. My friends are my support and comfort that my family either can't or, more often, WON'T be. I can't imagine my life without them, and it scares me so much that I may have to face that.

So, I'm sorry. And I do really, really love you guys. I just hope you can say the same about me when this is all over.

Title: Dreaming Back to This
Rating: currently PG-13ish, will eventually hit the R range
Genre: AU, sci-fi, suspense
Chapter: Strength in Despair (22/?)
Pairings: YooMin, HoSuJae
Summary: Changmin's running from a past he can't forget. Yoochun's running towards a future he can't see. Two people, seemingly on separate paths, collide. What starts in dreams…
Notes: I'm sorry. That is all. T_T
Previous: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21

( Yoochun watches, horrified, as Changmin sways then hits the floor. )

So, I'm pretty much exhausted. Work has been kicking my butt lately, and it's kinda starting to get to me. ( Follow the cut only if you really want to hear some ranting. )

Okay. Now that that's out of the way. XDD

I'm working on a pretty cool (at least in my opinion) project right now for all you DBSK fic readers. I don't wanna say too much right now, but it should be out (i.e. made public) in the next week or so. Hopefully everyone enjoys it as much as I'm thinking I'd enjoy something like this. ^_^ So, yeah, keep an eye out for that.

And if you actually went through and read all my ranting, thank you. Or I'm sorry, one or the other. XD

First random thought? I start a lot of subject lines with the word "random". Or at least include the word somewhere in the line. I'm no good with original subjects. Whatever. XD

So, one of the perks of working at a bookstore is that we get advance reading copies of upcoming novels that we're allowed to take home and read. It's really cool. I'm reading this one right now called The Maze Runner by James Dashner. (Being released on October 6, so check it out. ^^) It's kind of a mystery/suspense/sci-fi young adult novel, and I'm reallllly enjoying it.

But that's not the point. The point is... The main character, Thomas, meets this other boy, and... well. I'm just gonna excerpt this part: "Thomas was just passing the Box when he was surprised to see someone enter the Glade from the MAze, through the West Door, to his left -- an Asian kid with strong arms and short black hair, who looked a little older than Thomas." So, yeah, I was kinda excited to have an Asian character in novel that's not blatantly Asian, so that was pretty cool. But then. Then. "Alby jogged up then, clearly upset. 'What're you doin' back, Minho?'" HIS NAME'S FREAKIN MINHO!!!! -_- Korea is stalking me, I swear. And it's not even the fact that it's a Korean name. It's freakin' Minho. Shinee kid, Minho. DBSK pairing, Minho. What the hell... XDDD

In other news: my birthday's in a month in and 5 days. I always get $50 from my paternal grandparents for my birthday. I'm soooo planning on buy The Secret Code Tour dvd with that money. This plan, of course, hinges on the dvd's not selling out. But I'm optimistic. Just because.

And... yeah. I think that's all the news I have for now. Life's still boring; I'm still waiting. *shrugs*

Title: Dreaming Back to This
Rating: currently PG-13ish, will eventually hit the R range
Genre: AU, sci-fi, suspense
Chapter: Moving Forward, Going Back (21/?)
Pairings: YooMin, HoSuJae
Summary: Changmin's running from a past he can't forget. Yoochun's running towards a future he can't see. Two people, seemingly on separate paths, collide. What starts in dreams…
Notes: And it starts. Hope you guys are ready for the ride to really get started now...
Previous: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20

( I debated so many plans to remove myself from their lives and let them get back to normal, but I never did. And I should have. )

taken from kittysalias. 'Cause I am bored and know this will kill a good chunk of time. XD

( Cuttededed. 'Cause it's looooong... )

This article saddens me. Because it's basically telling me that, due to the fact that I'm a naturally easy-going and non-stressable person, I am a blood-sucker buffet. I have never before so badly wished that I could stress out like normal people... XDDD

In other news:

I am on a quest. Yes, my dear friends, a quest. Like, old-school meaning-of-life Monty-Python-and-the-Holy-Grail type quest. Okay, maybe not so much the Holy Grail. But, nevertheless, it is my quest.

So, here's the deal. I've been a horror-movie fanatic, since, ooohhh... about forever. I started watching them at about 8-ish years old, in 2nd grade. So, obviously, I have seen loooooooooooooooooooooooooots of horror movies. Lots. And, quite frankly, I am somewhat disheartened by the lack of decent American scary movies. Not slasher flicks. No. Goodness knows we have plenty of those to go around. I mean a good, old-fashioned, creeps you out and makes you leave the lights on when you sleep kind of scary movie. Asian scary movies are great at this. They get into your head, under your skin, make the tinglies creep and crawl up and down your spine. Recent American horror, not so much.

So I have taken it upon myself to find a really great, relatively recent, American horror movie. I will go through and watch all the scary movies from the US made in the last... oooh, let's say 10-ish years or so... that I can get my hands on. And I will judge them. If I can find even one that makes me want to leave my lamp on when I crawl into bed at night, my faith in American horror will be renewed.

And this is where you, my dear friends, come in. I know I've got to have AT LEAST a couple people in my f-list that watch scary movies also. So start throwing your recommendations at me. My only criteria:

1) ENTIRELY American-made. None of these Asian-movie remakes that Hollywood is so fond of in recent years. I want something that is, 100% from conception to post-production, an American movie.

2) No slasher-flicks, please and thank you. I don't mind a good death or two, but one the whole concept of the movie is just to find creative and gory new ways to kill people, I think I'll pass.

3) Made in the last 10-12 years. I am well-acquainted with the classics: Amityville Horror, Halloween, among others. I need something recent to prove that American horror filmmaking is still up to that level.

Some favorites that provide small glimpses of hope:
House on Haunted Hill - Still can't watch this movie alone in the dark. Creeps me out like nothin' else.
13 Ghosts - Yes, I'll admit, this one has elements of the slasher-theme. Some of the deaths in it are just... *shudders* However, it also builds up some major suspense and has a really creative plot to drive it along.
The Unborn - Actually just watched this one earlier tonight, thus leading to this post.

I am also planning on renting/watching A Haunting in Connecticut sometime in the near future, as that has been highly recommended by several people. We'll see if it can live up to the hype...

So, guys, this is my mission. Care to help a girl out? ^_^

Yes. I would. Because I am lazy but need to get in shape something desperate. The end. XDDD

So, I'm posting this for any of DBSK fans on my flist that may not be a member of dbsg. I know, that's probably a veeery small number of fans on LJ, but still. It's a cause that's worth mentioning here, just in case.

Be afraid, SM. Be very afraid. *insert evil laughter*

I've already pre-ordered the AADBSK3 set, but I fully intend on supporting these efforts beyond that. I'm also planning on linking this in the one or two groups I'm a member of on Facebook. If any of you have other fandom places where you can get the word out, I'm sure all the Cassies will be very appreciative.

Now. That being said. I don't want any of my friends thinking I'm going down the road of the major-freak-out-OMG-they're-breaking-up stuff. No. I'm still maintaing a rational, step-by-step, one day at a time approach to this whole issue. However. The more I read about the whole case, the more I believe that SM is truly and honestly taking advantage, not only of DBSK but of all their artists. And if doing this one little thing can help change that, then I am all for that. Seriously, guys. Cassiopeia is officially, Guinness World Records, the biggest fan-club. Ever. 800,000 strong, just in Korea alone. If we, the international fans, unite with their efforts, I think it can really make a difference.

So that's my take. Agree or disagree as you will; I'm up to hearing everyone's opinions. (As long as they stay calm/logical/rational. I enjoy dialogues, even if we disagree. I do NOT enjoy irrational freak-outs or emotional attacks based on little to no evidence.)

동방신기 화이팅!!! ^_^

Answer the questions with pictures of the person/character you were tagged with.
Tag five other people and provide them with a person character.

And cybermuffin18 gave me the Minster! ^^

( Sooo... let's see what I can come up with. XD )

Ummm.... 'kay. *blinks* Does this mean I'm out of luck now? O_o

I hurt my neck. Not sure how, but it hurts: my neck, my shoulders, and my upper back. I can't turn my head or lift my arms with extreme pain. In fact, the only time it doesn't hurt is when I'm laying down on my side.

I'm really hoping it goes away soon, 'cause Rose, Morgan, and Melody are gonna be here in 5 days. FIVE DAYS, GIRLS!!! XD I'm super-excited for it. We've got lots and lots of activities planned, and I really don't wanna deal with this pain through all that. ):

Tomorrow's my last class meeting as an undergrad. *bounces* I'll turn in my last assignments for Lit. Theory tomorrow, completely write finish my senior paper this weekend, and do my paper presentation on Monday. Freaking out a little about that last one. I'm really no good with presentations and things like that. Luckily, though, it's only about 5 minutes, so I think I'll survive... XD